Monday, 27 March 2017

Aadha Sa

27th March, 2017.

Aadha sa jo ishq thaa,
Use adhura hi rehne dete hain,
Ashq-e-musalsal se ab jee ub sa gaya hai.
Khaton ka woh ba-dastuur silsila,
Jisme raat ki syahi thi,
Azaab-rut sa ho gaya hain,
Ab sirf syah hai usme,
Ab rehne dete hain.
Aadha sa jo ishq thaa,
Kissa ban jaane dete hain,
Kabhi kisi sham yaad karlene ke liye,
Ki kya thaa, aur kya nahi,
Kyun nahi.

Phir kisi roz, kisi sham-e-shafaq-taab mein
Agar lage ki ishq adhura saa thaa, poora kartein hain,
Ek khat aur likhna.

Tab tak,
Aadha sa jo ishq thaa,
Use multavi hi rakhtein hain.

Xxx­­­____xxX





Wednesday, 1 February 2017

On Nothing - academic paper.

This is my first 'academic' paper that I am putting up here, because this one took more than 3 cigarettes and two cups of coffee before submitting to the professor, and he is always high on weed.

01st February, 2017.

Before going into the congenital academic debate on nothing again (pun intended), let us have a look at this song lyrics -

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a streetlamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
No one dare
Disturb the sound of silence

“Fools” said I, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said “The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence”.

On the face of it, this is just a song by Simon and Garfunkel released in 1964, which since then has became a cult classic.

But let’s look at the title of this song; ‘Sound of Silence’, it is bit of an oxymoron isn’t it? The idea of silence having a sound, not in it but of its own, is a paradox of an epic proportion, yet quite effectively it seeps into the formation of ideas every day.

Now there can be a plethora of meaning that can be attributed to this song and a good amount of that has already been done, so it would be a bit pretentious if I, as writing it now, claim to be original regarding that and plus, this is not about the meaning of the song but rather the implication of it. The prospect of ‘silence’ having a sound for us to hear is haunting by the very fact that silence is perhaps the other side of the nothing.
Let’s think about it, the most haunting aspect of our life is death, we don’t want to die, and no one does. The very basic idea behind the fear of death is the fact that everything will be lost and gone and nothing will remain. And as a fact, every other literature in the world has associated death with silence and nothingness and darkness, even before knowing what death is, we already have given it a number of functions regarding which we don’t know anything.

So when we say sound of silence, the thing that bothers me most is that the attributed purpose of silence as an entity (living or not doesn’t matter) is compromised to the point of paradox. If silence can speak (since it has a voice), then nothing can ‘be’ and then the idea of death as a dread is rendered meaningless.
 Now let’s move away a bit from death and morbid thinking and look at nothing in some other way. Rene Descartes, who is considered the father of modern day philosophy, once said ‘I think, therefore I am’, which basically tried to show the idea of ‘us’ as being a real entity with individual perceptions and everything. If we think we are something, whatever that may be, then by default we are not ‘nothing’.

That means, by theory, there is no such thing as nothing, not in the human existence of individualism per say, because the idea of ‘I think therefore I am’ is based on the fact that people think. They have individual thinking pattern and thusly everyone is something or the other regardless of any other factor.
That would mean then the idea of nothing is merely constricted to the material zone of the world, feeding on the individual perception of everyone. In a more simple term, it may mean that ‘nothing’ must be linked to what we there is and/or there isn’t, or, to make things more confusing, it must mean that whatever we think there isn’t but in actuality there is.

A good example of such I can think of is the following statement – “there is nothing in this room”. I have always found this ironic because the speaker is in the room with the listener who receives the statement. So how can it be both? If there is nothing in the room, what exactly is the person? Isn’t the individual, who passed on the statement ‘something’? Now the basic answer to this would be the fact that the speaker was addressing the general emptiness of the room minus him/herself but that doesn’t really answers anything. It simply means that the person just interpreted the room’s emptiness and by all possible means (and somehow by the theory in quantum physics of observation changes the outcome and the reality), the room wasn’t empty after all. That will mean that as humans we already have a good and solid (supposed) notion of things like nothingness, emptiness, silence and we want them to act in the predetermined way, because anything else would be entirely out of the notion of normal behavior. I remember, as youngster I saw this interview of Stephen Hawking where he explained this ‘Observer Effect’ by stating an example of a chair in a room; we want the chair in the room to be there because we ‘know’ that it is the reality, that a chair doesn’t moves, because it cannot move. But what happens when we aren’t looking at it? How would one know if it just doesn’t flies out of the room to Mars or something when we leave for work and comes just before we return?

So, how would we know if the idea of nothing is just an idea that came up as we observed it and it changed its reality to suit our comprehension? The negation of something to make nothing, what if we added it because there isn’t an answer? And what if it worked? How would we know the difference?
I know this sound more like a science fiction, a bad drawing by a 5 year old, but then again, it is a curios question.

So, is ‘nothing’ nothing simply because we want it to be so? Since I quoted Descartes to prove the fact that we perceive and are persuaded to be something, because we want our reality to make sense, even if it means to concoct an enigma just to provide the idea of the other one. Again, coming back to the first conjecture I made, “Sound of Silence” isn’t just a song, it makes the paradox real enough to be a haunting idea.

If I was to make a very pretentious philosophical remark, just to add a bit more color, I have this to say – the shadow on the wall which bears my own resemblance is mine, which I believe. But then it isn’t me, it just a marker of me, it makes me ‘be’ by being nothing itself. It doesn’t want anything, it doesn’t require anything, yet it is there, within the reach but out of grasp. And perhaps so is nothing, it is just the shadow of everything and it makes us know its existence by putting minute moments of inexplicability that we fail to answer; that random thought in the middle of a busy schedule or the sudden image in the corner of our eyes or random figure in an empty room we thought we saw and we would just say ‘ah, it was nothing’.


so, this is what i wrote... pretty strong, eh? what do you think?

Thursday, 26 January 2017

From Absentia

26th January, 2017.

Hello prattling mortals! Greetings from the absentia!

No but really, I have been long gone from my writings even from myself and I think, given the darkened night, I must now somewhat return. I have been writing random poetry a lot and that was not the initial plan if my memory serves me correct; to be frank, I don’t remember what was my original plan with this page, just one fine day I woke up with a craving and here we are, tangled in complex rants about whatnot.

Seriously, there were days when I gave my most sincere thought to abandon this page, to stop writing and to the extent of it, I had considered deleting it. There were moments when all of this, whatever I have wrote till date, seemed inconsequential and mostly incoherent to me. And let’s be honest about this, most of these ‘rants’ that I boast about are indeed of no consequence. Things that I call poem and stories, which I thought are creations of a ‘mind’ are just nothing, they hold neither meaning nor importance to anyone. Yes, they might, at times, look good to other people, I have had my share of applause for all those poetic injunctions but that’s the extent of it, they are momentary.

So the question is, why? Why still I keep these pandemoniums alive and not just lock them up and leave? I have seen people do that. Blogs being deleted have not surprised me ever, for I always knew they must have fulfilled their purpose of being. Either that or the authors had succumbed to the boredom of rattling over the keyboards or editing their brains out, the reasons could be many and doesn’t bother me.

I would like to believe, and do forgive me if I sound anything but polite, that most of the time people do get bored by their own design. They start, they walk, they come to the terms of anything they feel they should and that’s it. The time spent here must be sufficient to draw the needed conclusions, to move on. And keeping this assertion in mind, it is entirely possible that I don’t want to do this, regardless of my attainment of any sort of closure, not that I was looking for it, the prospect is hauntingly boring.

Another possibility is that this blog has been a witness to my teen angst and so much more. I liked to believe that I am cold, that I hardly feel anything, which now seems a mortifying lie to me.  I mean if we look back at it, after hundred something blogs, this claim seems not only futile but also far from being anything solid. Here, on my blog, I have smiled, laughed, cried, brooded, sulked and god knows what else, and to be honestly grateful, those who read this somehow, if not ill-fated to do so, shared these experience.

Thusly, my contention regarding the existence would be this – I am an utterly hopeless case of sentimental mess who can’t give up on certain stuff, ever. Because I somehow feel morally obligated to a few things, even though I have been told repeatedly that my moral compass is compromised beyond any fix. Whatever it is, I can’t just leave it, even though if the blog consist many embarrassing and more stupid things I have said. It’s basically like that estranged lover with whom you share everything and then you repent because you have told her too much and the only viable option is to kill her but you can’t do that either because now you are way too much into the designed hell you have made. So, there.

Yes, I have been absent for a while, and such absentia will keep recurring, but that shouldn’t mean I have stopped. After all, it was where I started my supposed journey in writing and that just can’t be stopped.

Although, if anything, I’d like to hear some opinions on this.

In other news, my hair is coming back and I’m not bald anymore, I’m not sure if it’s a good news.

Anyways, have a cup of tea!

Love!



Friday, 13 January 2017

To Whomever it may concern.

12th January, 2017.

So, fellas, this is the first 'poetry' of the year of our lord 2017. I know I should have posted something heavy, but prior engagements (basically nothing) has been consuming my time. But I wrote a poem so there's that.


"To whomever it may concern,
if this finds its way yo you,
by some unnatural chance,
and takes you back 
to your days of lucid dreams and 
poignant nights of starry carnivals,
and if you see us there in delight,
leave us there. We're just ghosts,
stuck in a blurred memory.
And if this reminds you of today,
when we are nothing more than a familiar face,
don't be upset,
for we still have our promises,
folded between the old books 
of thought and memory".

So there! And since there was nothing on New Year, I hope things are better for you, since 2016 was bullshit!

Have some tea and enjoy the cold. And to those who are denied of their cozy warm beds in such ungodly hours, may the seven watch over you!

Love!

Friday, 30 December 2016

Second Stanza

30th December, 2016.

Something off my mind, nothing serious…

‘You are absent, away somewhere,
You are here, right in front of me,
As I write.
Marked with trivial errors that I made,
I look back, only to find more pages
devoted to you.
I showed some, I hid more,
Afraid I’ll hurt you with the inked scars.
You still aren’t here, absent, somewhere away,
You are here as I struggle through words,
Words which always eluded me,
Ending in single stanzas.

As my scars grew in population,
The pages devoted to you came accordingly,
Like victims seeking refuge
In your still storms.
You are absent, away,
Somewhere,
You are here yet,
In my poem
Creating second stanzas.’

have a good year people!

Love!






Wednesday, 14 December 2016

This Side of Paradise.

15th December, 2016.

This side of paradise is mine.
It's mottled and it creaks with every step
and the ground feels cracked
as my shadow walks over it,
carefully treading, trying not to break anything.

Here my wounds heal quickly,
though it's argumentative,
whether my residence here is justified or not,
as it's basically dead, sepia toned.

This side of paradise is mine,
as mythical as it sounds, here I keep my gods,
designed on my own,
and there are no great expectations,
they are just devices,
advocates of my jest.

Wayward and broken,
this side of paradise,
with its grayed skies,
with a gloom air of despaired songs,
is perfect for dreaming,
and be nothing but ethereal.

Here I reside.

An Invitation to everyone.

14th December, 2016.


I keep you somewhere,
somewhere in the depths
of a restless mind,
not because of an undefended scorn,
but to remind me,
that we are strangers,
sort of.

But that’s not futile a thought,
don’t get me wrong.
true, indeed that our paths haven’t crossed in a while
and that we refrain from mentioning each other
in public gatherings,
or at least I do, yet
not a day goes by that you aren’t there,
in my thoughts and memories.
Strictly speaking, I miss you,
a lot!

And keeping that stringent fallacy in mind,
I would keep it, keep you in the moments I froze
in myself.

And maybe, just maybe
one day when we cross each other on some desolate street
or some busy road,
I’d love to catch up,
over a cup of coffee,
and maybe walk with you silently,
just to prove that I still love you,
 and yet we are strangers,
sort of…