14th March, 2014.
Human mind, as some would say, seeks some refuge at times of chaos or despair or when in dire need of some moments of peace. I, too being no less than other human, vulnerable to the sentiments and surge of emotions, had created a place for me to seek some refuge, in my mind of course, but it has a physical, materialistic plane too. I prefer to call it the Sand Castle. No apparent reason for why do I call it that, or maybe I don’t want to speak of it, but it shall be obligatory to state that the sand castle has been created long ago, where I could run away and hide.
After a day filled with laughs and happiness, I returned home last evening. There was fun, yet, I found myself lost for things; a strange feeling of uneasiness dawned on me. Not of unhappiness or despair, just a feeling of lost, a question of me being stranded, but not forsaken.
As I said, sand castle is just not in my head, it has a physical aspect too. Here, it was my terrace. No one goes up there, so it is my own place, to sit and think or to get lost in thoughts or languid pasts, with despair and love alike. I went up there to have some moments of peace.
My terrace provides a beautiful view of my area, especially during evening and night, when the locality is lit up with fluorescent light bulbs and tube lights. The street lights jolts up on their own and the daily routine of a city evening ensues then. The whole cacophony then kind of protrudes out of the area.
I made my way up, found a place to sit with the pale moon lighting the sky, one or two stars glinting without any care and the cold velvety breeze swaying over the city.
I sat there, for a good two hours, lost somewhere, with the sound of city amplifying with every passing moment. The children playing somewhere, women shouting, men who returned from their hard day of herculean labor, having their own moments of peace, some of them high on spirits, hurling abuses at others or snoring nonchalantly. A dog barks somewhere, a devotional function going on in a nearby temple; someone revs his beloved bike and speeds off into the city life... The sound of city amplifies. Yet, I sat there lost, contemplating the view, without any precise thoughts or introspection, deaf to the sounds. I am just there, under a pale moon, a chilly breeze of late spring and some deep sounds. I felt a sense of gratitude; towards everything and everyone who exists, who are there, to tell me that I am not forsaken, lost maybe, but not always alone. I feel grateful, not to god, but to universe, to let me breathe, to live, and more importantly to let me love.
I came back to reality, out of my sand castle. It was late. I whispered a thank you to someone invisible. I returned, smeared with dark silent night, a heart void of doubts and a mind emptied, clarified.
Regards.
Human mind, as some would say, seeks some refuge at times of chaos or despair or when in dire need of some moments of peace. I, too being no less than other human, vulnerable to the sentiments and surge of emotions, had created a place for me to seek some refuge, in my mind of course, but it has a physical, materialistic plane too. I prefer to call it the Sand Castle. No apparent reason for why do I call it that, or maybe I don’t want to speak of it, but it shall be obligatory to state that the sand castle has been created long ago, where I could run away and hide.
After a day filled with laughs and happiness, I returned home last evening. There was fun, yet, I found myself lost for things; a strange feeling of uneasiness dawned on me. Not of unhappiness or despair, just a feeling of lost, a question of me being stranded, but not forsaken.
As I said, sand castle is just not in my head, it has a physical aspect too. Here, it was my terrace. No one goes up there, so it is my own place, to sit and think or to get lost in thoughts or languid pasts, with despair and love alike. I went up there to have some moments of peace.
My terrace provides a beautiful view of my area, especially during evening and night, when the locality is lit up with fluorescent light bulbs and tube lights. The street lights jolts up on their own and the daily routine of a city evening ensues then. The whole cacophony then kind of protrudes out of the area.
I made my way up, found a place to sit with the pale moon lighting the sky, one or two stars glinting without any care and the cold velvety breeze swaying over the city.
I sat there, for a good two hours, lost somewhere, with the sound of city amplifying with every passing moment. The children playing somewhere, women shouting, men who returned from their hard day of herculean labor, having their own moments of peace, some of them high on spirits, hurling abuses at others or snoring nonchalantly. A dog barks somewhere, a devotional function going on in a nearby temple; someone revs his beloved bike and speeds off into the city life... The sound of city amplifies. Yet, I sat there lost, contemplating the view, without any precise thoughts or introspection, deaf to the sounds. I am just there, under a pale moon, a chilly breeze of late spring and some deep sounds. I felt a sense of gratitude; towards everything and everyone who exists, who are there, to tell me that I am not forsaken, lost maybe, but not always alone. I feel grateful, not to god, but to universe, to let me breathe, to live, and more importantly to let me love.
I came back to reality, out of my sand castle. It was late. I whispered a thank you to someone invisible. I returned, smeared with dark silent night, a heart void of doubts and a mind emptied, clarified.
Regards.
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