20th September, 2014.
So after five days of lethargic routine of confusions and
bewilderment at the archives, with 10 minutes of peace with some grey ash on
the ground and silver smokes in the sky, the long awaited Saturday arrived. No seriously,
now I know why people are so mad for weekends! The laziness, languid miasma
that ponders over after such hectic routine, yeh toh banta hai boss!
But this is not what I want to rant and blabber about. This
is about a realization and a subtle moment of happiness that marked my day. (It
may not appeal to your massive intellect, because it is not related to the Kashmir
flood or Syrian wars. sorry! This is just a crap blabber, go find some cat
videos!).
To start with realization, I had to leave the velvet bed and
the land of dreams for C.R Park this evening, had some errand to run. Easy thing,
no problem, and plus, I needed he walk. Anywho, on my way to cr park, I met
someone, it was a she, and was a former classmate in school. I won’t use the
term friend for her anymore, well for the obvious fact that it was never there.
And whatever remained was a bitter taste in the mouth (try eating aloe vera
pulp, you’ll know!). Our eyes met, and instead of a familiar spark of old days,
what came out was a sheer compulsion of walk-fast-as-you-can. This was the first
realization. People change. That’s the rule of nature. But some changes are in
a more negative part of the axis, which is fine by me; seriously, I don’t even
care. They can go to the deepest part of inferno for that matter and the world
would be (for me) a better place to live. Some bitter tastes are necessary in
life anyway and a good mouthwash does help.
The second realization was at Cr Park. This too was related
to school, and an old grudge. During the last days, a series of events
followed, leading to the consequent formation of a toxicity which we know as
anger. Well, toxicity would be an overstatement, I can justify my anger but let’s
focus on the matter at hand…where was I?
Oh yes, grudge. So even after 4 years, the seething roil that crept inside me
whenever I saw them persisted. But today, the momentary meetings made me
realize that the grudge was meaningless. I wasn’t angry on the guy (not wholly) I was angry at
the events and his participation was too obvious to miss, but anyways, as
mother says, it takes power to forgive, anger is just an excuse to be weak
(never agreed, she is like Confucius, pata
nahi kya bolti hain ). Anyways, maybe now I will be able to shrug off the
anger and will ‘pardon’ him (yeah I feel like god,bitches!), but I can’t be
sure. Heh! Needed an egg roll after this…
And after the series of life altering and mood killing realizations (I
hate you god, couldn’t pick any other day, could you?), happiness was tintin
(nephew). Well, how shall I put it? Happiness was the two year old kid , who doesn’t
even knows me as his uncle, doesn’t remembers
me, yet wasn’t afraid to hold hand and walk. (Dada, my elder brother and tintin’s
father, says that he hardly does that to strangers) so, yeah, that was a moment
to cherish. A childish innocence can be a powerful tool to change the
moroseness into a joyous moment. And I guess a thank you for him won’t be out
of order (note: buy him a chocolate…)
So yeah, subtle
happiness… “The child is the father of the man” would be an appropriate quote
here!
The day ended with Lasya and fathers being on a loop along with poets of the fall with carnival of rust.
Egg roll for anyone? Perks of being at Cr Park, I guess…
Regards.
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