05th September, 2014
Well it’s pretty soon on my part to write something again
here, but I think the circumstances ask for it anyway. The past few days, I've been like an automaton
(those who don’t know, automaton is a self operating machine). Well not
completely, but some similarity can be found, like the fact that I’ve been like
a machine anyway for a couple of days now! It all started on the
pseudo-unfortunate day of 1st September, 2014, when I was enrolled
into a course at the national archives. Little I knew that this was going to be
this much lethargic. When I was enrolled, to be frank, I was expecting
something totally different form of classes, with guided tours and practical
handling of the records, but that’s a different issue altogether to speak, so I’ll
just refrain that part, and go on with the rant I actually wanted to. Every morning,
I wake up, do the essentials, and leave for the archives on the metro rail,
hanging like a bat (rush hour fellas, welcome to Delhi!) at central secretariat
to be greeted with the freshly mopped wooden floor with a pine fragrant floor cleaner
and a silent building with a superficial silence and utter scholarly
seriousness.
But the thing is I am yet to find the excitement that I usually
sought after. Instead of that, I find a lethargic ambiance, followed by an
utterly mundane miasma of gloom that ponders over me. Even after 5 days of
class I am yet to find person/persons of interest, possibly because of the
skepticism we all follow in a room full of strangers! More of that happens when
the class has no interaction with students whatsoever with each other. They must
be good people, maybe great people, but I guess we’ll never know. But no harm in
hoping I guess!
Even the newly arrived monsoon seemed dull to me yesterday
and today too, when I finally left the building, only to be greeted with a
fresh burst of petrichor, but too tired to enjoy it. Instead, I just made my
way to the busy station, hopped onto one and came back to my rooms. I went to
the India gate in the slow drizzle days back, but that was dull and monochromatic
without anyone else to enjoy that scenery with me ; well there indeed was a
fleeting wish that someone would be there, but then, if each of our wishes came
true, world would be a chaos.
The nights are dull, a simple break in a routine is very
much lethal, especially when you look at your phone at every five minutes, with
a hope of a text or a call, but end up switching it off after it is clear that
you are done for the night… it’s late and maybe with a heavy sigh and twitching
heart of hopes, you’ll go to sleep, partially waiting for a dull vibration in
the phone…
So, that’s the phenomenal routine I am following these days
of colorless days, dull rains in Delhi and maybe a difficult nights to spend in
an animated state between being awake and sleeping, and I have absolutely no
idea for how long will this continue. I really can’t ask certain things to
happen, so I’ll just carry on with a Glasgow smile on my face.
Regards.
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