Marlboro Man

I wonder how many cigarettes will it take

to build a mound of ash,

big enough to fill the grave of multiple

corpses, it won't be easy. 

Everyone sees the packets everyday I buy,

a slender tube dangles from my blackened lips regardless of time,

the sides of my fingers are yellow

and yesterday I spat some blood. 

Everyone's a doctor now, everyone's playing 

Dr. Phil, I cannot make them understand

the unresolved points my life has seen

or for the fact that I'm not the one who dies

I haven't done that yet. 

So I steal the song from Fool's Garden,

"I wonder how I wonder why..."

making it a maxim I'd hum along,

maybe a little Phil Collins

if I am in the mood.

I drive in my matt blue car 

with a cigarette lit,

I kept the last one in the dashboard

along with her last one, with the lipstick mark which she left there before flying off

for a new life afterwards.

So I keep wondering, I wonder

how much cigarettes will I need,

before I finally make it all go

or before I finally make it.