7th September,2013.
I have been lying to myself completely. Lying to somebody else is acceptable to certain extent,but lying to self,even as a consolation,is something very unacceptable. This realization will be much better if it comes as early as possible.
Today I didn't went to college..you possibly can't if you bleed during a shave and then faint out..(darn embarrassing). After a while,Veenu called. Veenu Sapra, Dishant's 4th or 5th girlfriend (man,that guy has some serious bad luck), and a pretty good girl to make a friend.I was introduced to her last year at college festival. She reminded us to meet at Nehru Place for a due treat. I obliged and told her I will be there with Dishant around 2.00.
Sometimes,some events occur so randomly,you don't even see them coming. There was something in her voice which told me there more than it meets to the eye..it wasn't just the treat,it was something else.
At Epicuria,enjoying our crushers after a pizza party,Veenu fixed her eyes on me and said-"TALK !"
startled,I asked her to explain what was going on. She let out a number of random burst of stuff,asking,accusing,pleading to me to tell her what's wrong..I was stunned by so many blows uncalled for. After a while, I slowly and as humanely as possible,answered her questions..Dishant sat quietly drinking his choco shake..I told her what's wrong and what has been happening..not all of it,that would've been too much,but she got what she needed to know..Patiently listening to my trash talks,and remaining silent for minutes,scolding me, she said - ''You are the most pathetic liar the world would see..go easy on yourself dude,you are just too hard and destroying yourself..You do too much for others and expect the same..And the worst part, you never let things out even if you are hurt or angry, you just lie to yourself that you will be alright,and keep such things inside..that is destructive dear boy..you need to burst out!" Dishant intervened and said-" your expectations are not much bro, i agree, but at the same time, you expect from people who are not worth of you.."..After this,we chatted for 2 long hours joking,digressing from the serious talks,but my mind was somewhere stuck at that exact moment..Have I really been lying to me?? Or was it just her interpretation of my recent behaviors? My demands,wants,actions? Before leaving, Veenu just said,-''remember,even if you deny this,there are people for you.You just need to call out.Even a faint whisper will do..friend..and stop this nonsense!''
What could I have said against it?..My lies were perhaps unmasked in front of a wise girl and a fair man,I think..!!
I have been lying to myself completely. Lying to somebody else is acceptable to certain extent,but lying to self,even as a consolation,is something very unacceptable. This realization will be much better if it comes as early as possible.
Today I didn't went to college..you possibly can't if you bleed during a shave and then faint out..(darn embarrassing). After a while,Veenu called. Veenu Sapra, Dishant's 4th or 5th girlfriend (man,that guy has some serious bad luck), and a pretty good girl to make a friend.I was introduced to her last year at college festival. She reminded us to meet at Nehru Place for a due treat. I obliged and told her I will be there with Dishant around 2.00.
Sometimes,some events occur so randomly,you don't even see them coming. There was something in her voice which told me there more than it meets to the eye..it wasn't just the treat,it was something else.
At Epicuria,enjoying our crushers after a pizza party,Veenu fixed her eyes on me and said-"TALK !"
startled,I asked her to explain what was going on. She let out a number of random burst of stuff,asking,accusing,pleading to me to tell her what's wrong..I was stunned by so many blows uncalled for. After a while, I slowly and as humanely as possible,answered her questions..Dishant sat quietly drinking his choco shake..I told her what's wrong and what has been happening..not all of it,that would've been too much,but she got what she needed to know..Patiently listening to my trash talks,and remaining silent for minutes,scolding me, she said - ''You are the most pathetic liar the world would see..go easy on yourself dude,you are just too hard and destroying yourself..You do too much for others and expect the same..And the worst part, you never let things out even if you are hurt or angry, you just lie to yourself that you will be alright,and keep such things inside..that is destructive dear boy..you need to burst out!" Dishant intervened and said-" your expectations are not much bro, i agree, but at the same time, you expect from people who are not worth of you.."..After this,we chatted for 2 long hours joking,digressing from the serious talks,but my mind was somewhere stuck at that exact moment..Have I really been lying to me?? Or was it just her interpretation of my recent behaviors? My demands,wants,actions? Before leaving, Veenu just said,-''remember,even if you deny this,there are people for you.You just need to call out.Even a faint whisper will do..friend..and stop this nonsense!''
What could I have said against it?..My lies were perhaps unmasked in front of a wise girl and a fair man,I think..!!
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