River and life.- a travel journal entry.

11^th December, 2013.

I never look back into my diaries...as a fact, it is only this year when I actually kept a regular diary; I tried to maintain a diary before, but usually I ended up throwing them away. Silly..! Finally I overcame the fear, and started writing whatever I felt like writing.

But I still never look back into my diaries, for I feel that once I’ve written something out, there’s no point in looking back…it has been said, done ,felt already. It’ll bring the old memories back only, and nothing else. What is the point of feeling the ink again? Yet today, while cleaning my bookshelf (I do that whenever I am bored to the center, which is always), I flipped through the pages of my diary, and stopped at an entry dating to 1^st July 2013. I was in Bengal during that month, on my escapade from the mundane dull routine of existence. This particular entry was during my trip to Diamond Harbor.

“1st July, 2013.

In an attempt to breathe out the city of Delhi out of my lungs, today I went to Diamond Harbor, delta of the river ganga and the sea. Bichchu dada was my guide there; he knows that place inside out. This morning he woke me up, told me to get ready; we will be visiting a place. And told me to take my camera with me. I had no idea of our trip until he purchased 2 tickets to that place. He said, and I quote, ‘you need to breathe, and nothing can beat the Harbor.’

The train journey was as same as ever it has been in west Bengal. Crowded, loud, full of different emotions.  The trains in Bengal never disappoints surprising me with its constant and yet ever changing style and affairs.

We reached our destination at the given schedule (another amazing feat. They are usually late on both arriving and departure). From station, the harbor is half an hour walk, and so we walked.. I like walking when I visit new places, to feel the newness of an area, I’d advice everyone to take a walk.

Now, whenever I hear the term harbor, the 1^st image that pops up is of a crowded, wet, area, filled with people and void of any silence as such. How wrong I was.

This place was feebly crowded, not much of a soul was in view. Dada picked up a spot far from the noises around, pulled out his phone, and with a gesture of his hand shooed me off to enjoy.

Diamond harbor is one of the calmest places I’ve ever been. Being an aquaphobic, initially I was restricted to myself, but something happened, I left my left my shoes behind, and sat down with my feet in the water. Heartbeat came down to normal, breath became free. The cold waves playing around my feet, the wind brushing my skin, the wet scent of soil and water filling my soul, intoxicating me and the sun kissing the horizon; my mind was as blank as a new sheet of paper. 

I could not, as a fact, I did not wanted to think of anything. I left everything out of my mind; friends, families, and things I love, people I care about. I was absorbed, overwhelmed with the setting sun. I could feel my heart beating in a slow pace after years, and I know it was longing for something, which I guess I would never know what. The roars of the waves crashing on the bank subdues every other sound, I couldn’t even hear my own soul. It deafened me to point, where the only sound remained was of the prevailing silence, or maybe it was the only sound I cared about. The air caressed my skin, played with my hair like a mistress who you know will never be yours. For 3 hours, I was not even aware of my own existence, let alone the world around me.

 The sun which drowned in the horizon, darkness fell and took all the gloom to the abyss.

The rest is easy to guess I suppose. We took the train back to Baruipur. The cold wind of Diamond Harbor evening through the train window kissed me goodnight. I returned with a blank soul, now daubed, smeared with an entirely new color…”