10th July, 2015.
She’s finally here and she hasn’t forgotten to surprise and
make me smile. Yeah, “she”, the ever beautiful nymph of my otherwise dull life,
the monsoon of Delhi. Personification of something is very easy, if you can
figure out the purpose or meaning of it in your life. And for various reasons, I
had made it a point to personify rain as a woman with pale skin, the darkest
hair possible, like the night, who gives off the fragrance of petrichor… Am I mad?
Yes, in a certain way, I do possess a twisted way of thinking sometimes. I talk
to myself and leave them inconclusive for some later development. Anywho, I can
keep going on and on about her and it will never be enough. Sometimes I wish
that she weren’t just a figment of my imagination, but then, I wish for so many
things.
Lately, as I noticed, I’ve become cruel, angrier than I was
before, unnecessarily. And there is really no reason to be so because that is
not normal for me. A slight misstep, a slight unintended miscalculation by
someone and I lose my temper. And maybe that’s good, I don’t know. Like for
example, I am having this unreasonable anger against the autorickshaw drivers,
especially those who are following ramzan thing. Yes I know it is a religious thing
and there is this fanatic sentimentality, I can relate to that, and I don’t even
care about that, but now it is just stupid. Why? The reason is I was at Malviya
nagar a couple of days ago, the sun were like burning the shit out of everyone,
and like everyone, I too was out of my patience and vitality. I just needed to
be home. So I hail an auto, ask him if he can take me to Dakshinpuri (ah yes,
we have to take their permission because they are just royalty). And he obliged
too. Now, the fare from Malviya nagar to Dakshinpuri is only 50 bucks, maximum 60
bucks at most. But no, oh no, he asked me for 90 bucks! 90 FUCKING BUCKS! Why? Because
its ramzan month and he is some sort of brother to me and I shall pay him 40
bucks more than the actual fare. You see, this type of stupid things makes me
unfaithful to religion. And it was not the only case; even yesterday I had this
same bullshit from another driver. Like really? Do I look like I will pay more
than what’s actual?
Yesterday, I was alone at home and yesterday was the last
day I smoked. I quit. Yeah, no more cigarettes. Not for a very long time. And when
I say long, I mean well and far long, maybe never. Why? Because it’s easy for
me to start a bad habit and end it too! I wanted to prove myself that I am not
like everyone else, weak and pathetic and that I can control my addiction. I see
people, know some of them who will always provide an excuse about how they
cannot leave a bad habit. Now, having a bad habit doesn’t make a person bad, it’s
just a habit, but if they cannot control it, if they fail to rise above it and
end it, they are weak and uselessly pathetic. Like I can and successfully have
controlled my urge to drink alcohol, even when I had too many opportunities. Does
it make me better than most? Indeed! Someone once told me that I am one the
strongest guy the person had seen. So, there, I started it, and I ended it,
without any withdrawal symptom, and there wouldn’t be one, I know my poisons
and it won’t be the reason of my demise.
Oh and, David Garrett! After Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin and Vivaldi,
Ray Charles, Jim Morrison, Garrett just made my list braingasmic musicians (not
that I am totally oblivious to others, but if given choice, I can spend my
whole day with their music without even changing the track).
There is moonlight sonata by Beethoven, symphony 40 by Mozart,
nocturne opus 9 by Chopin and la campanella (originally composed by Paganini)
by Garrett. And much, much more, I am just a small audacious creep who hasn’t listened
to most of them. I am starting! Amazing isn’t it? My brother says, someday, I will
snap one of my brain nerves by putting this much pressure on it. I am counting on
it! That would only mean that my brain had something!
Oh well, it’s raining out again. Ta!
Regards and much love!
Note to self: Remind me to complete my letter projects.
p.s – admit it, this did not made any sense, but then most of them don't!
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