06th June, 2014.
My previous entry was about the lethality of a dull routine that one follows with reluctance during exams, which leads to a placid state of mind. Who knew that this was going to follow after the exams? So, if I had to, I can divide this placidity in a chronology, I can divide it into past, present and future.
Past – before my last exam, my stars may have decided to play a practical joke on me, like “hey, guys, come see this, it’s real fun, I am going to give this guy CHICKEN POX..HAHA’’… so yeah, I fell down with pox, and the placidity starts. When you are suffering from pox, take it from me, you really want to see the world burn. Firstly, the food; no salt or spice in the diet, just freaking boiled veggies. I mean really?? I am a BONG for god sakes, how can I live without fish curry and stereotypical Bengali food?? Secondly, the rest. You are quarantined to a room with nothing, maybe with your mobile with songs and laptop with movies, but it gets on your nerve. You really don’t know what song is playing or what are those human figures trying to do in a movie. You are not awake, you are not sleeping. You turn into a psychopathic insomniac, laying down the whole night with your eyes wide open, the wheezing fan on the ceiling, the dripping faucet in your kitchen, the snoring of your tired father from the other room amplifies a hundred times, and you just want to kill everyone, the days are boring and more or less same like nights; whatsapp and facebook bores you and the days become placid, stagnant with same routine.
Present – post pox days. I am recovered, just the spots on my face, and I may have gained a bit weight too (though not morbidly obese, I am fatty..huh..the only cross I bear). Now, to expect that someone would visit you with a fresh bouquet of flower would be childish, but this human nature does expect things invariably. Dishant did came though, quite unexpectedly. Yet, I was somewhat promised a visit by someone else, but it didn’t happen. Oh well, I can’t say I was disappointed, I have practice to get disappointed so yeah. And people are busy these days, so, no complaints. And plus, I can’t do anything about some things, so yeah, present is placid too. No one to meet, no one to come. Maybe just some old habits to pass the time with.
Future – so, summer is burning Delhi to a crisp, and most of my friends are leaving. Close ones actually; I don’t have many friends (sociopathic behavior or asperger syndrome?) I now feel like the unnamed hero from Dostoevsky’s white nights, where he felt forsaken when everyone in the city was leaving for summer vacations. So, with them gone, I don’t have anything to go on with, and with the heat wave, the remaining ones won’t risk going out just to get burned by the raging sun. I will be quarantined in my rooms, with the few new books and old movies (need new movies) to keep myself sane. Occasional visits to the sand castle and some writing maybe; the placidity will go on.
Regards.
My previous entry was about the lethality of a dull routine that one follows with reluctance during exams, which leads to a placid state of mind. Who knew that this was going to follow after the exams? So, if I had to, I can divide this placidity in a chronology, I can divide it into past, present and future.
Past – before my last exam, my stars may have decided to play a practical joke on me, like “hey, guys, come see this, it’s real fun, I am going to give this guy CHICKEN POX..HAHA’’… so yeah, I fell down with pox, and the placidity starts. When you are suffering from pox, take it from me, you really want to see the world burn. Firstly, the food; no salt or spice in the diet, just freaking boiled veggies. I mean really?? I am a BONG for god sakes, how can I live without fish curry and stereotypical Bengali food?? Secondly, the rest. You are quarantined to a room with nothing, maybe with your mobile with songs and laptop with movies, but it gets on your nerve. You really don’t know what song is playing or what are those human figures trying to do in a movie. You are not awake, you are not sleeping. You turn into a psychopathic insomniac, laying down the whole night with your eyes wide open, the wheezing fan on the ceiling, the dripping faucet in your kitchen, the snoring of your tired father from the other room amplifies a hundred times, and you just want to kill everyone, the days are boring and more or less same like nights; whatsapp and facebook bores you and the days become placid, stagnant with same routine.
Present – post pox days. I am recovered, just the spots on my face, and I may have gained a bit weight too (though not morbidly obese, I am fatty..huh..the only cross I bear). Now, to expect that someone would visit you with a fresh bouquet of flower would be childish, but this human nature does expect things invariably. Dishant did came though, quite unexpectedly. Yet, I was somewhat promised a visit by someone else, but it didn’t happen. Oh well, I can’t say I was disappointed, I have practice to get disappointed so yeah. And people are busy these days, so, no complaints. And plus, I can’t do anything about some things, so yeah, present is placid too. No one to meet, no one to come. Maybe just some old habits to pass the time with.
Future – so, summer is burning Delhi to a crisp, and most of my friends are leaving. Close ones actually; I don’t have many friends (sociopathic behavior or asperger syndrome?) I now feel like the unnamed hero from Dostoevsky’s white nights, where he felt forsaken when everyone in the city was leaving for summer vacations. So, with them gone, I don’t have anything to go on with, and with the heat wave, the remaining ones won’t risk going out just to get burned by the raging sun. I will be quarantined in my rooms, with the few new books and old movies (need new movies) to keep myself sane. Occasional visits to the sand castle and some writing maybe; the placidity will go on.
Regards.
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