08th August, 2016.
Almost a year ago, when it was my birthday, I was
gifted a small diary, to jot down any random thought and ‘artwork’ which I might
have at times. Naturally, it was a fix for a crack addict, or so was the
sentiment behind it. I was grateful for such a considerate gift, a person who
only knew me for 4 months had known me enough to gift me a diary. Something I might
will never be able to do, possibly because I don’t observe that much maybe or
maybe I am just bad at gifting stuff.
Anyways, as it should have dictated my life from
that moment, I started jotting random stuff down in the diary. But the problem
with me, as it always is, I jot down things almost everywhere, it becomes hard
to keep a track of such things. Yet I tried and I still try; I haven’t filled a
considerable amount, but there are things there, just random things. Let’s just
put them up for a public display, yes?
03/11/15
“The kinder death wouldn’t
be just dying,
not in old age,
with wise shenanigans and
lost thoughts.
Nothing more kinder,
that dying of an
obsession,
a broken vanity and
some
unwanted but existing
designs.
A kinder death will be
a mad one!”
21/11/15
“How shall we dream?
Shall we just sleep?
Or shall we be wide
awake?
In lucid world of
dreaming?
Or just outside the
doors,
onto the streets?
Where?
Somewhere!”
22/11/16
“31 cigarettes and a
pile of ash;
An artificial rush of
dopamine.
At the end of all this,
what remained
was a failed attempt.
To induce another
amnesia!”
01/12/15
“Feelings are a more
translucent form of action. Sometimes we are able to carry them out. Most of
the times we just don’t! But it stays, right in the corner of your mind, right
where you left it”.
11/12/15
“And suppose
that I sleep now,
what would be the
chances?
To wake up at the end
of the light?
At the never ending
horizon, where
sleep fears to tread?
Where dreams are born!”
22/12/15
“one reasonable
classification between them and us is the only fact that they’re blind. Or rather
we finally can see”.
12/01/16
“Saw a girl reading Sherlock
Holmes on train – she saw me reading Oscar Wilde. And maybe we smiled”.
19/01/16
“I’d write about you,
Every day,
Every face,
Every phase you go
through.
But you don’t have to
read them.
You already know.” (M
to C)
20/01/16
“While you sleep safe,
I made a promise!
To be at your side
and not falter
at your worse”.
(Mountain and River)
15/02/16
“I wish I can write
more here.
But we wish so much!
Only if the changes we
spent in a wishing well
paid off well.”
15/02/16
“The moon said – ‘you
darken my thoughts’.
The Cloud said – ‘you light
my existence’.
I said…
No, I said nothing, I just
sat and wept.”
Undated
‘These pages would be
so meaningless, without the touch which gave me reason. These pages would be so
empty, and the ink would be so colorless like this. This is what happens when
you go mad I guess!”
07/05/16
“A random thought that I
saw in her.
And a promise I will
make,
But,
Am I worth it?”
So these are the random
thoughts that I had written down in this particular diary. Unfortunately, I so
wish that there was more but then I have written things elsewhere also, so many
things that I don’t even remember. So this is it I guess.
Reagards.
