7 minutes itch.

01st November, 2017.

Well hello hello hello again!

Yes yes, I know it has been away for a whole month since I last visited here, I've been sort of riding the storm so to speak, and I do find myself at the liberty to state this for a fact that boy oh boy was that a storm!

Well, to be really very frank, it is hard to keep oneself always engaged to the virtues that defines them, more even so, it is easy to be sincerely indulged in the vices on the other hand of the singular spectrum. I understood this when I started this page, and I find myself following a singular pattern of presence and absence and if I were more observant to myself, I might have noticed the frequencies of this pattern. It becomes more of a preordained chain of events.

That being said, when I mentioned a storm, I am not sure of its magnitude myself, I think it was important, if not certainly perplexing to an extent. There were things that happened, which I correctly had anticipated and then there were the monkey wrenches which I did not see coming. Okay, maybe one or two, but I didn't pay the attention that I needed to. And that's stupid.

Though I have no inclination or obligation to divulge the details of the said 'storm'  (a term which I now think I'm just using as an exaggeration just to form a hype), it has successfully kept me awake for long nights, something which I had forgotten. Although, I cannot say I missed the insomnia because, well, sleep is important, but I think that it's also important to be on the field at times, just to be in the game. Again, I'm not making a whole lot of sense here, I have to blame this to the fact that I myself am unaware of whatever which is bothering me. I don't like not knowing or understanding.

I think, and I might am wrong, this particular rant is just one of those mindless things that starts as an itch and won't stop until it has got a good scratch, and this is me, scratching (figuratively). Maybe now I'll be able to catch some sleep.

So, what did we learn? 2 things - one, if you're having an itch, scratch it, especially if it's a stupid one like this. Two - sometimes, we have to burn some old bridges to build a new one, at the same exact spot, because who doesn't likes a new shiny bridge with steel cables instead of ropes, eh? Go figure!

Well then, good scratch.

Untitled (cannot think of one yet)

कुछ रातों के काले साये में मैं अक्सर सोचा करता हूँ,
कि तुझे याद करूँ तो कैसे करूँ।
आधे बिछरे पन्नो के किस स्याह से तुझे याद करूँ,मैं अक्सर सोचा करता हूँ।
टटोल के कुछ किताबों को, कुछ अल्फ़ाज़ ढूंढता रहता हूँ,
शायद बयां कर जाऊं जो दिल में है, मैं तुझे याद करूँ तो कैसे करूँ, अक्सर कालि रातों को मैं ऐसे ही जलाता हूँ।
देख देख पुराने शायरों को, कभी कलम भी उठा लेता हूँ,
क्या पता क्या लिखूं, अक्सर यही सोचता हूँ।
खिड़की के बाहर अँधेरे को मैं यूँ ही तकता रहता हूँ,
वक़्त भी मेरे साथ अक्सर यही सोचता है, तुझे याद करूँ तो कैसे करूँ।
फिर थक हार कर, जब पन्ने समेट लेता हूँ और कलम भी जब स्याह रिसना बंध कर देता है,
जब रात भी अब कल का वादा निभाती है,
चंद लम्हे के लिए ही सही बादस्तूर कुछ याद सा आ जाता है,
तेरे बारे में, जो सिर्फ मेरा है।
अधूरा ही सही, ऐसे ही,
कुछ रातों के काले साये में मैं अक्सर तुझे याद करता हूँ।

ऋषिराज.