13th December, 2014.
I know, I may have stated before that I won’t write anymore, but writing is something I can’t stop indulging in. So yeah, either enable me by keep on reading, or find something more useful to do in this fine evening and an equally fine weather.
Speaking of weathers, I woke up this morning to be greeted by a new fog, quietly engulfing the city or my locality at least. And it has been raining here since the afternoon. Well not exactly raining, I don’t know in the least what to call it, but I will refrain from going into a grammatical debate, or a debate of nomenclature or etymology.
As I was saying, the day started with a fog, and usual to my nature, I was kind of sucked into a delusional abyss. Winter and I share quite a history I guess. And it’s a quite strange one. There was a time when I almost died, perhaps the winter of 1993. I was just some 1 or a half month old, and almost had a brush with death. Thrice! I won’t delve much deeper into that, as to what or how, but long since I was made aware of this fact, I had a different kind of attraction towards winter and her antics. She has been rude and lethal to me, both in the aspects of physicality and emotional content.
Believe me, when one comes to know about his almost short mortality, perceptions about a certain things change. Mine did too! It’s always the winter when something traumatic has occurred in my life. She is cold, harsh, unforgiving, damaging, and almost destructive. Yet, I can’t stop myself from loving her. Her cold touch shreds into my skin and freezes my bones, her foggy shroud makes my vision opaque, both inside and out, and I can’t see anything. Yet I love her. Maybe because winter gives me a reason to think and introspect about things. Yes, she is harsh, but it is not her fault! And to be faithful, it is always winter only when something beautiful has happened. Something poetic, something criminally unjust, it was always her. But it’s okay. I think we both have something in common. Practically misunderstood by everyone maybe. Maybe that’s why she is illogically rude to me. Or maybe it is her love that I confuse with rudeness sometimes. In any case, I know she will keep destroying me. All my attempts to be safe will fail, regardless how hard I try. For the rest of my life. And it is so calming. It was one winter when I came to exists. Maybe it will be a winter of my destruction.
It’s windy out there. I can hear the windows smashing. It is going to be cold enough. I shall take my leave. I need to go for a walk, feel the cold. Its been a while.
Regards.
P.s – this has to be the stupidest rant! I apologize to my readers. I will try and makes sense in my upcoming blabbers.
I know, I may have stated before that I won’t write anymore, but writing is something I can’t stop indulging in. So yeah, either enable me by keep on reading, or find something more useful to do in this fine evening and an equally fine weather.
Speaking of weathers, I woke up this morning to be greeted by a new fog, quietly engulfing the city or my locality at least. And it has been raining here since the afternoon. Well not exactly raining, I don’t know in the least what to call it, but I will refrain from going into a grammatical debate, or a debate of nomenclature or etymology.
As I was saying, the day started with a fog, and usual to my nature, I was kind of sucked into a delusional abyss. Winter and I share quite a history I guess. And it’s a quite strange one. There was a time when I almost died, perhaps the winter of 1993. I was just some 1 or a half month old, and almost had a brush with death. Thrice! I won’t delve much deeper into that, as to what or how, but long since I was made aware of this fact, I had a different kind of attraction towards winter and her antics. She has been rude and lethal to me, both in the aspects of physicality and emotional content.
Believe me, when one comes to know about his almost short mortality, perceptions about a certain things change. Mine did too! It’s always the winter when something traumatic has occurred in my life. She is cold, harsh, unforgiving, damaging, and almost destructive. Yet, I can’t stop myself from loving her. Her cold touch shreds into my skin and freezes my bones, her foggy shroud makes my vision opaque, both inside and out, and I can’t see anything. Yet I love her. Maybe because winter gives me a reason to think and introspect about things. Yes, she is harsh, but it is not her fault! And to be faithful, it is always winter only when something beautiful has happened. Something poetic, something criminally unjust, it was always her. But it’s okay. I think we both have something in common. Practically misunderstood by everyone maybe. Maybe that’s why she is illogically rude to me. Or maybe it is her love that I confuse with rudeness sometimes. In any case, I know she will keep destroying me. All my attempts to be safe will fail, regardless how hard I try. For the rest of my life. And it is so calming. It was one winter when I came to exists. Maybe it will be a winter of my destruction.
It’s windy out there. I can hear the windows smashing. It is going to be cold enough. I shall take my leave. I need to go for a walk, feel the cold. Its been a while.
Regards.
P.s – this has to be the stupidest rant! I apologize to my readers. I will try and makes sense in my upcoming blabbers.
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